Reflections on Mortality, Purpose, and Acceptance

Posted on March 31, 2026, tagged as

One of life’s enduring challenges is coming to terms with our mortality. Popular culture often touches on this theme – sometimes humorously – suggesting that fear of death underlies many human behaviors. Joseph Heller in Catch 22 said that his character, Yossarian, planned to live forever or die trying. Over time, I have moved from anxiety about my own mortality to a more peaceful acceptance of it. A sermon delivered at my late mother-in-law’s funeral helped crystallize this shift: “The good Lord, in his ultimate mercy, withholds from us the foreknowledge of the time of our death.” That insight continues to help me accept life’s uncertainty.

The loss of loved ones, patients, and friends has helped me accept that death is an inescapable part of life. While many lives are cut short by circumstances beyond anyone’s control, others are fortunate enough to live out a full lifespan. Having several centenarians in my family, I long assumed I might live to age one-hundred or beyond. That expectation was challenged when, at age seventy-six, I was diagnosed with two incurable cancers. Fortunately, treatment was available, and I chose to approach it with acceptance and cooperation. I set a goal of living to eighty-three – and recently reached it. My doctors discontinued chemotherapy two months ago, noting that the cancer may return in five years, ten years, or perhaps not at all. Therefore, I have renegotiated my lifespan, aiming for another seven years.  If I reach that milestone as I hope to do, I will renegotiate once more.

Several factors have supported my survival. Advances in cancer research and the exceptional care I received at the Winship Cancer Center at Emory University have been essential. Equally important have been my willingness to work closely with my physicians, the support of many people who have prayed for me, and long-standing lifestyle choices, including quitting smoking and drinking alcohol decades ago.

Two additional factors deserve mention:

1. Research suggests that many people who live beyond eighty share a trait of equanimity—an ability to accept life as it unfolds without excessive emotional extremes. Alcoholics Anonymous has adopted a prayer written by theologist Reinhold Niebuhr, the first part of it which says “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” The prayer goes on for a bit, is highly spiritual, and I encourage you to Google it. I believe that, for the most part, I have become accepting of life as I find it.
2. Closely related is the importance of purpose. For myself, one way of thinking about this is that God has a job for me, and it is my job to both discover it and to do it. In general, I have believed for many years that what God wants for me is to enjoy the life that I have been given, to love Him in return for His love for me, and to improve the world in some way. I have learned that life is a journey, and that where it takes me depends upon my accepting help where and how I find it, finding courage, and having a sense of purpose in my life.

Viktor Frankl, in Man’s Search for Meaning, observed that those who survived the horrific conditions of the Nazi concentration camps often did so because they maintained a sense of purpose. For me, that purpose has taken many forms, including helping others through writing. After my beloved wife Gena’s death in 1992, I discovered writing as a meaningful outlet. Since then, I have published several books exploring recovery, faith, and personal growth emphasizing the idea of life as a heroic journey. Through writing, I hope to continue offering encouragement and helping others live purposeful, fulfilling lives.

My hope is that each of you finds both equanimity and purpose – and the greatest possible enjoyment of life – one day at a time.