The Sixth Step

Posted on May 19, 2026, tagged as

“Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.”

The sixth of the twelve steps is another place where the refusal to continue with the heroic journey is encountered. Not surprisingly, we have encountered the refusal in all five of the previous steps, but in hopes of being relieved of our addiction we have been willing to push through to this point. However, until now, we have not agreed to try to be better people except for one aspect of our lives—our addiction. We are now confronted with a decision that was unanticipated when we set out. We tried Alcoholics Anonymous to stop drinking. We went to meetings, got a sponsor, and somewhat surprisingly, did stop drinking. We agreed, at least to some extent, to accept a higher power, to complete a thorough self-evaluation, and to discuss this work with another person, usually our sponsor. Why not just be satisfied with what we have accomplished thus far? After all, we wanted to quit drinking (or whatever), and we have done so. Listening to our sponsors, we are now expected to agree to be the best person we can be, make amends to those we have harmed, and to engage in a lifetime of self-examination, spiritual growth, and service to others. This is not what we thought we signed up for. Our resistance here is to the continuation of the internal heroic journey. We think we have completed the exterior journey – that of staying sober in the same world in which we could not stop drinking. We have, in fact, quit drinking.

For some of us, the idea of being a better person could be attractive. But at this point nobody is “entirely ready” to give up all their shortcomings, some of which they believe have been necessary up until now for success or survival. Our decision to take the sixth step, if we agree to do so, is made mostly based on what we have heard thus far from our sponsors and from others in the AA program. That is, it is much easier to quit drinking than to stay quit. Success in maintaining abstinence is dependent upon working all twelve steps. We have been hooked into a program of continuous self-improvement and spiritual growth.

Fortunately, we don’t have to take all twelve steps in one big bite. All that is being asked of us right now is to become willing to be a better person. Putting it that way makes it seem less overwhelming, and perhaps not even a bad thing. We are encouraged to stay the course by the apparent success of our sponsors and of the people we have met in the program, none of whom appear to be religious fanatics or have a saintly halo suspended over their heads. Most important is understanding that the wish to refuse to continue with the journey is part of the heroic journey itself. It is normal to want to quit the journey and be satisfied with what has been completed thus far. Thinking about it in this way, we can realize that the desire to quit is not a rational thought to consider deeply, but rather a thought that can be disregarded as a trap in a difficult journey, one that has been negotiated successfully by millions of others. We are being asked, one day at a time, not to be saints, but rather to be positive members of the family of man. This thought is appealing. With the right guidance, we cannot only quit our addiction but also enjoy life fully on the heroic journey of recovery. Willingness to trust the process is the key to success.